"We spend most of our time talking about nothing, but I just want to let you know that all of our nothings have meant so much more to me than so many somethings."

"So, if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michel Angelo, you know a lot about him, life's work, political aspirations, him and the Pope, sexual orientation, the whole works, right? But I bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seen that...? If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. I ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right? 'Once more into the breach, dear friends.' But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, and watched him gasp his last breath looking to you for help.

I ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable...known someone that could level you with her eyes. Feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you… who could rescue you from the depths of Hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, and to have that love for her be there forever. Through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in a hospital room for two months, holding her hand because the doctors could see in your eyes that the terms visiting hours don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, because that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. I look at you; I don't see an intelligent, confident man. I see a cocky, scared sh*tless kid. But you're a genius, Will. No one denies that, no one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine and ripped my [f'n] life apart. You're an orphan, right? Do you think I'd know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally I don't give a sh*t about that, because, you know what, I can't learn anything from you I can't read in some f*cking book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. And I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that, do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move chief."
~Sean

Gulp.
I have been selected to have lunch with the president of the company I work for. That's right. Next Thursday a small handful of coworkers and I will enjoy lunch in a semi-private area tucked away somewhere in this 5 million square foot building with none other than the president of a Fortune 500 company. Double gulp.

What if I sneeze on him or something?

Goodness knows it's not *totally* out the realm of possibility.
At this point I haven't a clue as to what I'm going to ask, but I know one thing: I want to ask at least one great question. This is a man that has flown combat missions during Desert Storm. He's on the Board of Trustees for the American Institute for CPCU. Simply put, he knows more than a great deal about the military, insurance and he knows how to effectively lead a company of thousands of employees.
Although I'm definitely wondering how the heck I was picked for something like this, the more pressing questions on my mind are what should I ask him and, more importantly, what should I wear? That cute Prada dress and my favorite Louboutin shoes? Also, where can I buy these things for less than $100?
Help!

That which the dream shows is the shadow of such wisdom as exists in man, even if during his waking state he may know nothing about it... We do not know it because we are fooling away our time with outward and perishing things, and are asleep in regard to that which is real within ourself.
~Philipus Aureolus Paracelsus

I do my best but I'm made of mistakes
Yes, there are things I'm still quite sure of

Everything you see has its roots in the unseen world. The forms may change, yet the essence remains the same. Every wonderful sight will vanish; every sweet word will fade. But do not be disheartened, the source they come from is eternal, growing, branching out, giving new life and new joy. Why do you weep? The source is within you. And this whole world is springing up from it.

~Jelauddin Rumi

Love is the answer.

Someone to love is the answer.

If those who lead you say to you, "See, the Kingdom is in the sky," then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, "It is in the sea," then the fish will precede you. Rather, the Kingdom is inside of you, and it is outside of you. When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living Father. But if you will not know yourselves, you dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty.

~The Complete Jesus

The birth of a man is the birth of his sorrow. The longer he lives, the more stupid he becomes, because his anxiety to avoid unavoidable death becomes more and more acute. What bitterness! He lives for what is always out of reach! His thirst for survival in the future makes him incapable of living in the present.
~Chang-Tzu

Because so many respected friends know so little, I share with you a video that relays more than a few widely unknown facts. Facts that are indeed unknown largely due to a total lack of an open dialogue.

If knowing all of the information before you make a decision is important, doesn't it make sense to know more about this one?

If you care about the failed drug war (or it's astronomical price tag paid by your tax dollars), the rapidly rising deficit or if you are generally dissatisfied with big government's intrusion into things which it truly has no business intruding into, I implore you to learn more about the truth on this matter.

"Others, as most legislators, politicians, lawyers, ministers, and office-holders, serve the State chiefly with their heads; and, as they rarely make any moral distinctions, they are as likely to serve the devil, without intending it, as God. A very few, as heroes, patriots, martyrs, reformers in the great sense, and men, serve the State with their consciences also, and so necessarily resist it for the most part; and they are commonly treated by it as enemies. A wise man will only be useful as a man, and will not submit to be "clay," and "stop a hole to keep the wind away," but leave that office to his dust at least."

~ excerpt from Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau

“Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words.Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits.Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.”

~Gandhi

"If we're gonna walk into walls, I want us running into them full speed."

Cease from practice based on intellectual understanding, pursuing words, and following after speech, and learn the backward step that turns your light inward to illuminate your self. Body and mind of themselves will drop away, and your original face will be manifest.

-Dogen

President Josiah Bartlet: Sweden has a 100% literacy rate. 100%! How do they do that?

Leo McGarry: Maybe they don't and they can't add.

------------------------------

Bartlet: Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Do you know why?

Will Bailey: Because it's the only thing that ever has.

He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.

~Albert Einstein

“No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the sources of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.”
~P.J. O’Rourke

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
~Colossians 3:12

Joe Fox: Do you ever feel you've become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all the secret, hateful parts - your arrogance, your spite, your condescension - has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and walking away, you zing them? "Hello, it's Mr Nasty." I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about.

Kathleen Kelly: No, I know exactly what you mean, and I'm completely jealous. What happens to me when I'm provoked is that I get tongue-tied and my mind goes blank. Then I spend all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what I should have said. What should I have said, for example, to a bottom dweller who recently belittled my existence? Nothing. Even now, days later, I can't figure it out.

Joe Fox: Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could pass all my zingers to you? And then I would never behave badly and you could behave badly all the time, and we'd both be happy. But then, on the other hand, I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows.

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up: if a boy punches you he likes you, never try to trim your own bangs, and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it: the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. but sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. and maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. maybe the happy ending is just moving on. or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment... you never gave up hope. "

The best video of this song. Period.

I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music", as if there is any other way you can take it in. You're not special, that's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it but it did not work.

And it takes no time to fall in love

But it takes you years to know what love is

It takes some fears to make you trust

It takes those tears to make it rust

It takes the dust to have it polished

It takes some silence to make sound

It takes a loss before you found it

And it takes a road to go nowhere

It takes a toll to make you care

It takes a hole to make a mountain

~Life is Wonderful by Jason Mraz

Toby : You want the benefits of free trade? Food is cheaper.

Sachs : Yes.

Toby : Food is cheaper, clothes are cheaper, steel is cheaper, cars are cheaper, phone service is cheaper. You feel me building a rhythm here? That's 'cause I'm a speechwriter and I know how to make a point... It lowers prices, it raises income. You see what I did with 'lowers' and 'raises' there?

Sachs : Yes.

Toby : It's called the science of listener attention. We did repetition, we did floating opposites and now you end with the one that's not like the others. Ready? Free trade stops wars. And that's it. Free trade stops wars! And we figure out a way to fix the rest! One world, one peace. I'm sure I've seen that on a sign somewhere.

Sachs : God, Toby...Wouldn't it be great if there was someone around here with communication skills who could go in there and tell them that?

Peek inside a chick's mind. (Be afraid, be very afraid.)
I once dated a guy who was convinced I had the ability to make any man (or woman, for that matter) fall in love with me just by my looking at them. You read that right, his position was that this hypnotizing look in my eye triggered LOVE. I'd concede I do ogle quite impressively, but firmly held that this ogling couldn't affect everyone in the same manner; plus, we all possess free will and love's a choice. He'd counter that mine was a nondiscriminatory stare and he was undividedly sanguine that this love charm would work on any person of my choosing and if I chose them, they were left without one- they had to love me.
I'm not gonna lie, back then I thought it was sweet. He'd gush about my gaze and debate if twinkle was a more appropriate word than sparkle. I'd sigh and swoon.
Looking back I (gag and then) think it's actually kind of funny that he thought I could cast some sort of magical spell that causes any partner to fall in love with me without their consent.
Funny...and just a *tad* insulting.
Because, if you think about it, it could easily be interpreted that he felt he was only in love with me because of this twinkle...er sparkle or..uhh, man. Why don't I just start dating girls?
Anyway, I'm pretty sure his theory is sort of like if a guy were to say "If I would have been sober and had my wits about me, it's possible I never would have f*cked her."
Quite the compliment, don't you think? :)

And when you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun.

Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.

Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.

A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!

Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?

How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...or right-and-three-quarters?

Or, maybe, not quite?

Or go around back and sneak in from behind?

Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,

for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

~Oh, the Places You'll Go!
by Dr. Seuss

So we've all had those days. For me, today was one of 'em. But you know what? Fuck it. As Fiddy would say, things can always get better. I'm truly convinced that life is what ya make it and when life sucks, the suckage shall endeth with you. Smile. Find something to be grateful for. For pete's sake, we *could* be this chick, and we're not. So there's that.

In the century now dawning, spirituality, visionary consciousness, and the ability to build and mend human relationships will be more important for the fate and safety of this nation than our capacity to forcefully subdue an enemy. Creating the world we want is a much more subtle but more powerful mode of operation than destroying the one we don't want.

-Marianne Williamson

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness, in a descending spiral of destruction. The chain reaction of evil must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

"There are so many days here where you can't imagine that anything good will ever happen, you're buried under a black fog of partisanship and self-promotion and stupidity and a brand of politics that's just plain mean...but tonight I've seen a man with no legs stay standing. . . and a guy with no voice keep shouting. If politics brings out the worst in people, maybe people bring out the best."

You may all go to hell

And I will go to Texas.

-Davy Crockett

"I was watching a television program before, with a kind of roving moderator who spoke to a seated panel of young women who were having some sort of problem with their boyfriends - apparently, because the boyfriends had all slept with the girlfriends' mothers. And they brought the boyfriends out, and they fought, right there on television. Toby, tell me: these people don't vote, do they?"

The family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.

~Dodie Smith

My uber liberal Uncle Barry wrote the following words...and after reading them I can't help but wonder how less defined my conservative views would be now had I not have had this Hollywood progressive guy do such a fine job of scaring any possibly dormant crazy right out of me since a wee young age. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy. Our relationship is a source of great inspiration for me, inspiration that consistently procures measurable results. I am ceaselessly left dumbstruck by not only how strikingly different our views are on just about everything, but also by the realization that upon each new uncovering of any disagreement my respect and love for him is only strengthened. He's a real gem, a true individual and the coolest uncle a chick could ever ask for.

With that said, prepare yourself for some crazy.

"Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence."

-John Adams

(signer of the Declaration of Independence and 2nd President of the United States - one of the founding fathers the Republicans love to claim they revere while ignoring their actual words, thoughts, policies and deeds.)

John Boehner, Republican House Minority Leader, lectures President Obama on economics.
The 8-year administration of George W. Bush created the economic crisis of 2008 that laid waste to the world economy.
Barack Obama, while campaigning for the presidency, ran not only against John McCain but against the failed Republican economic policies of the past eight years; the same policies that had gotten us into that mess by 2008 and the same policies John McCain was peddling as a way to get us out of them.
President Obama is right today in arguing that a return to those policies will finish us off.A recent poll shows that most Americans correctly blame Bush for our economic woes. But what exactly are we talking about when we speak of Republican and Democratic economic policies? Is one really preferable to the other?Over the past 59 years – as long as I’ve been alive – we have done better economically under Democratic administrations. This is not an opinion. This is a verifiable fact. And facts are stubborn things. Anyone who cares to be an informed citizen can easily find this information. Except, it seems, for the Republican leadership.

• From 1948-2007 the annual Gross Domestic Product (a measure of a country’s overall economic output) grew 2.78% under Democrats and 1.64% under the Republicans.


• Family income growth from 1948 to 2005 was 2.6% under Democrats versus 0.4% under Republicans for the bottom 20 percent;


• This growth was 2.1% vs. 1.9% for the top 5%.

Even the rich do better under Democratic administrations. The Democrats have given us solid economic growth, more money than the GOP’s desperate cries for tax cuts can provide; tax cuts that wouldn’t be an issue if the Republicans hadn’t destroyed our economy in the first place.

Over the 60-year period of 1948-2007, income inequality trended substantially upward under Republican presidents but slightly downward under Democrats, thus accounting for the widening income gaps over all. The bad news for America’s poor is that Republicans have won five of the seven elections going back to 1980. If we were to follow the fear-mongering Republicans and cut taxes and slash federal government spending, the people worst impacted would be the rugged individualists in the red counties – Sarah Palin’s so-called “real” Americans.

We do not have to look far for the reasons for America’s current economic condition.

Tommy McCall, writing in the New York Times, illustrates the relative merits of Republican and Democratic economic policies. If you invested $10,000 in stock market and index securities during the 40 years that Democrats ran the country from 1929-2008, you’d have more than $300,000. The same money, if invested during Republican administrations, would yield you only $51,000 – a staggering one-sixth. If Hoover’s Administration is included, the Republican total shrinks to $11,733.

Boehner’s “Economic Plan” would increase the deficit by 3.781 trillion dollars over 10 years. This is the plan of the party of fiscal responsibility. Again, this is not opinion, this is verifiable fact. Look it up.

We can talk about globalization too, since it’s another favorite Republican rant. It turns out, though the Republicans will never tell you this, that global inequality ceased growing from 1980 to 2000 and in many respects began to shrink and that income inequalities are largest within the nations least touched by globalization. As Professor Timothy Ferris writes in his new book The Science of Liberty (2010), “Ideologues blame globalization for the world’s ills” but economists like Paul Collier know that “We need stronger and fairer globalization, not less of it.”

This may seem shocking but you have to consider that both George W. Bush and Ronald Reagan ran up huge deficits and increased the size of government, and that it was a reviled Democratic president. Clinton, who last balanced the budget and reduced the deficit. Clinton even reduced the size of government.

Reagan increased the nation’s debt from 23% to 69% of the GDP. Harry Truman shrank it 8.6% and Clinton 1.8%.

While we go into the final weeks of the pre-mid-term election cycle it is good to remember that when President Obama was elected Republicans cautioned America with regards to all the Clintonites in his administration and how following in Clinton’s footsteps would harm the country. History has proven that Clinton's policies resulted in a balanced budget and economic growth, while Bush's policies resulted in record deficits and world-wide economic collapse. We could do a lot worse than to emulate Clinton.

Boehner is apparently unaware of the irony in his words that “”Never before has the need for a fresh start in Washington been more pressing.”

We got that fresh start in 2008, Mr. Boehner. And we’re all better off for it. While things may not be great right now, they could be a lot worse. And if America listens to you, they will be.

J'adore KW. La fin.

"I want to be a comfort to my friends in tragedy, and I want to be able to celebrate with them in triumph. And for all the times in between, I just want to be able to look them in the eye. Leo, it's not for me. I want to be with my friends, my family, and these women."

I am so blessed to have the daughter, the family, the job and the faith that I do. Despite the blessings that are too plentiful to list, I sometimes end up beating myself up and focusing on all of the things I want to accomplish in my life and haven’t yet...and get a little bummed out. My mind wanders to the trips I want to take, the things I want to buy for my daughter. Then I spend time dwelling on the body I don’t yet have, the house I want to build. (A log cabin near Seattle, probably.) I want to learn a different language, cliff jump in Mexico and surf in Australia, just see the world! Driving a race car at 150mph is a must, but that probably won't come before I help run a political campaign or drive from California to New York (and stop at a hundred different places along the way). There’s a book that needs to become a best-seller and a blog that is lacking about a million hits a day that also comes to mind when actively participating in this mini pity-party.
There are even simpler things on the list, such as fall in love and preach a sermon.
In fact, I actually have a bucket list packed full of well over 200 hundred goals. Since formally constructing this list about two years ago, I’ve made maybe ten or eleven measly ticks off of it while adding more than fifty additional items to it. There are days when I fear I’ll not complete half of the goals I desire. That fear only grows when I consider the lack of time and resources I have and match it up against my dismal track record thus far.
And then, when this nearly overwhelming sense of defeat starts to seep in, I tell myself, “Lighten up, dude.” ....which seems to do the trick. It should also go without saying that with my beautiful daughter...well it is pretty darn hard to ever feel like a failure for too long.
Some days I need more encouragement, so I turn to the one thing that always has a way of uplifting my spirits: music.

Sara Bareilles’ “Many the Miles” is one of my favorites….

“I made up my mind when I was a young girl

I’ve been given this one world

I won’t worry it away

But now and again I lose sight of the good life

I get stuck in a low light

But then Love comes in”

There's real magic in music. One song can lead to one small positive action, which leads to another and another, until finally when that feeling of discouragement completely fades away. And that, at least to me, is nothing short of miraculous.

To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must cultivate our personal life; and to cultivate our personal life, we must first set our hearts right.

-Confucius

...the sense of being which in calm hours arises, we know not how, in the soul, is not diverse from things, from space, from light, from time, from man, but one with them and proceeds obviously from the same source.... Here is the fountain of action and of thought.... We lie in the lap of immense intelligence.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Better Late Than Never...

[Donna and Josh are discussing what should be done with the budget surplus]

Donna Moss: What's wrong with me getting my money back?

Josh Lyman: You won't spend it right.

Donna Moss: What do you mean?

Josh Lyman: Let's say your cut of the surplus is $700. I want to take your money, combine it with everybody else's money and use it to pay down the debt and further endow Social Security. What do you want to do with it?

Donna Moss: Buy a DVD player.

Josh Lyman: See?

Donna Moss: But my $700 is helping employ the people who manufacture and sell DVD players, not to mention the people who manufacture and sell DVDs. It's the natural evolution of a market economy.

Josh Lyman: The problem is the DVD player you buy might be made in Japan.

Donna Moss: I'll buy an American one.

Josh Lyman: We don't trust you.

Donna Moss: Why not?

Josh Lyman: We're Democrats.

Donna Moss: I want my money back.

Josh Lyman: You shouldn't have voted for us.

So why do people vote democrat again?!

It requires courage to cast the accumulated myths of a lifetime to the wind. Our natural desire for simplicity, certitude, and the approval of others occasionally causes us to defend even our most flawed worldviews as if our very lives depended on them. Dead belief systems are difficult to bury for in doing so we enter a world we do not recognize; we watch the carefully crafted towers of our understanding crash down in ruins and we lose an integral piece of the only reality we have known, reinforced and imprinted on our minds by a thousand voices, internal and external.

-John Perazzo

WannaBuySomeCornforaDolla?

Regrettably I am unable to embed this hilarious video of Conan O'Brien birdwatching in Central Park. The hosting website shrewdly disabled that ability in order to avoid detection from the epic fail that is NBC as they most assuredly would force the site to remove the video if it was discovered. Racist communists!
Still, go. watch. now.
That is all.

http://www.noob.us/humor/conan-goes-birdwatching/

Trust Few.

I'm going to say upfront I haven't the slightest idea where in the world I'm going with this, but then again, I hardly ever do. However, you've now officially been forewarned. Rambling to commence in 3...2...1...
While I have had a number of boyfriends over the years I have actually had an abnormally disproportionate share of first dates. Fair to say ratio here is easily 10:1. I long ago decided as a single mother it would be important to drastically limit not only casual dating but also limit casual-yet-time-consuming friendships. I am happily and loyally committed to and nurturing of my few close relationships; I am simply extremely selective of those people and groups I become closely associated with. Like everyone else in the world I've experienced the perils of not being so selective...and I personally found that path leading to severe disappointment. Do I feel as though those involved with the aforementioned disappointment are inherently bad or evil people? No. This would be stupid, as I was involved, too. Look at me- I am too cute to be evil:

This, my friends, is the face of anti-evil.

Additionally, I realize the people/groups involved did not make reprehensible decisions that were wholly or even partially responsible for undeserved hurt and pain. I do not feel this way now yet employ these examples anyway because they are typically the starting players in the self-reinforcing cycle of thought a lot of folks-including myself at times- get stuck in after going through a painful experience. The nasty cycle mostly involves placing blame, playing victim and, you know, whining. A lot of whining. If you're stuck in that cycle try donating a bit of your time to a good charity organization or, and I say this with all the love in my heart, try getting the f*ck over it. You'll thank yourself later for cutting what essentially is a self-indulgent pity party short. Shockingly enough, living in the possibility of the present is a hell of a lot more satisfying and fruitful than dwelling on the sad memories from an unchangeable past. This lesson has been a hard one to learn, and I'm still learning everyday. ...So what was the point of this? Damn tangents. Ah, yes. Trusting a precious small few. Moving along...

Love All.

Please do not confuse my limiting close associations with not liking or spending time with many people who are not...er...close associates. Rather understand the distinction between a dear confidante and a fond acquaintance, a distinction not signifying that I love either one less than the other. Love them differently, sure. But not less, not hardly. I am lucky to love so many special people, all in different, beautifully enriching ways.

(Important to note I definitely do not love certain people, but comparatively that list is limited. Off the top of my head: I definitely do not love child molesters, rapists and Bill Maher.)

I just...hate that guy. *shudders*

Almost everyone else I know, though, I honestly love. This natural tendency is more than likely a result of being a southern belle and watching Pollyanna 14,789 times as a kid. I have heard the naysayers mock this way of life. (Mostly the chronically unhappy & icky atheists, also a few friends and family members, too.) But frankly, my dears, I don't give a damn. While trusting few and loving all are paramount in the way I approach life, so is that last part of the Shakespeare quote:

do wrong to none.

Finally, the easy one. Well...at least easy to explain. Whether it be betraying the trust of a special friend by knowingly disclosing a sacred secret or causing a noticeable dent on a car door and opting to flee the parking lot instead of opting to leave a note- no matter how justified you feel you are- knowingly causing harm to someone else ALWAYS comes back to take a chunk out of your ass in the end. Who knows, perhaps all of the blessings and joy in my life have absolutely nothing to do with loving all, trusting few and doing wrong to none, maybe it's all been fate...but something tells me that Shakespeare might just have been on to something.

Oratory Should Raise Your Heart Rate. Oratory Should Blow the Doors off the Place.

I have decided that every Sunday I'm going to do my damnedest to post a quote or two from one of my favorite television drama series, The West Wing.
My affinity for this particular show needn't be discussed here in great length but I will say how grateful I am for the television network Bravo for generously running the series in it's entirety while I was on bed rest for a lengthy portion of my pregnancy. Bravo for Bravo! Heh. The timing kicked some serious ass. I am also grateful for losing the remote and my subsequent inability to change the channel as desired when the third episode from the first season began.
I remember watching the first few minutes in a recalcitrant huff, muttering my disgust with liberal Hollywood while frantically digging beneath the covers for the ever-elusive clicker. But quite like magic my disgust morphed into startlingly eager interest as the palpable chemistry between Donna and Josh was revealed through their exchanged banter.
By the end of the episode I found the *entire* cast (sans Moira Kelly) to be refreshingly talented and the cleverly unfolding storyline to be remarkably captivating. The long Steadicam tracking shots down the corridors of The West Wing were a huge bonus and made what normally might have been exhaustive dialogue into instead irresistibly entertaining parlance.
And, oh my- the exquisite writing. Writing at times so moving it brought me to tears, other times so hilarious it provoked a deep belly laugh lasting longer than a full minute, easy. It was the writing that kept me coming back for more and it was the writing that demanded the immediate purchase of all seven seasons on DVD.
Needless to say, I happily acquiesced to the demand. And the rest, as they say, is history.

So, there it is. My inner nerd has reared it's ugly head and refuses to be contained any longer.
I'm kicking off this tradition with one of my favorite short-but-sweet quotes...
And by the way, thanks for reading. You rock. :)

"Words. Words when spoken out loud for the sake of performance are music. They have rhythm and pitch and timbre and volume. These are the properties of music and music has the ability to find us and move us and lift us up in ways that literal meaning can't."

~President Josiah “Jed” Bartlet, The West Wing

Cross It! Cross Your Heart!


One of our favorite scenes from the movie UP:

http://is.gd/efqql

My daughter repeats her rendition over and over and over...and over. Daily. And it's too cute to not share. :)

http://is.gd/efqST

Down...But Not Out

"If you're still hanging onto a dead dream of yesterday, laying flowers on it's grave by the hour, you cannot be planting the seeds for a new dream to grow today."
-Joyce Chapman.

Not all that long ago I was invariably dreaming a fantastic dream. This special dream filled me with hope, and not the kind of hope you might have when you throw a penny in a well and wish for something. No, this kind of hope was much more potent and made up of two elements - desire and enduring expectation of this desire coming to fruition.
Detailing the specifics of this dream seems unnecessarily garish therefore I beseech you to use your lovely little imaginations and fill in the blanks.
Well this dream did not ever come to anything, not anything other than a whole lot of hurt. I know they say if you never take risks, you'll never gain anything. But what do those same people say to someone who has risked everything and lost it? While there is wisdom to gain in failure, wasn't it Benjamin Franklin who said that experience is the best teacher and only fools will learn from none other?
Sometimes taking big risks will pay off in the end. And other times, well it quite simply won't. At least not in the way that we might have hoped. Sometimes dreaming a dream that seems too big, seems that way because it is.
While I do not understand why certain things have happened and why I have needed to feel the hurt that I have felt, I do know that it was for a reason. And I do understand that when adversity strikes we always have two options: get bitter or get better. So I choose the latter, I choose to realize it is a blessing to be reminded that winning does not always mean you go home with the jackpot, sometimes it means you break even and live to try your luck another day.

I’m the happiest mother of the loveliest daughter, Grace. My little squirt is at the best stage, the one commonly referred to as the Articulate-But-Still-Has-a-Lisp- &-Finds-Everything-Interesting-&-is-Super-Adorable Stage, my favorite stage so far. It is just us girls and it seems as though all we ever do is giggle, learn and play together. Our life is simple and completely carefree.
Thankfully it will be a while before we find ourselves chasing uncomfortable sleep across long nights spent on buses traveling to some sort of competition because I wanted to chaperone her first overnight school trip. Longer still before we face miles of required paperwork for college enrollment. Those experiences, or some variation of them, are coming sooner than I would like, but not THAT soon!
For now our glorious days are filled with whimsical activities such as making butterflies out of rolled cardboard and adding sparkles galore to most reachable flat surfaces. We have facilitated and eagerly witnessed plants grow out of wet paper towels inside plastic bags, which led to plans for our own garden someday. We've also spent entire afternoons whispering secrets behind cupped hands while under a makeshift tent of foam noodles in a swimming pool infested with surprisingly friendly sharks & heroic elves.
I am incapable of imagining how life could get any better than this, but I know it will continue to get better if we continue giggling, learning and playing together.

Just a few years ago I was faced with the wonderful and terrifying task of choosing the name for my precious unborn child I was carrying. I was eighteen years young and the biggest decision I had made before this one was probably what dress I was wearing to prom. I was, in a word: petrified.
I love the special story behind my name. It gives me an incredible sense of worth and purpose. I wanted the same thing for my daughter.
I finally decided to actually meet her before I named her. I just felt compelled to spend time with her before I chose the name she'd have for the rest of her life. (Or at least until she decided to change it to Princess Consuela Crapbag.)
After she was born it took me three whole days to name her. When I was going through possible names, one name continued to stand above the rest: Grace.
After spending those first few days with her I knew there was no other alternative. This was my little Grace. My miracle through the storm. She is my saving, amazing Grace.

grace:

how you climb up the mountain is just as important as how you get down the mountain. and, so it is with life, which for many of us becomes one big gigantic test followed by one big gigantic lesson. in the end, it all comes down to one word. grace. it’s how you accept winning and losing, good luck and bad luck, the darkness and the light.

I am so blessed to have her. I do not deserve her. Life is hard and I cannot imagine it without Grace. And to think of the countless nights not so long ago I was on the bathroom floor...begging and pleading with God to just let me not be pregnant. Man.
Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. He knows what He’s doing. When He takes something away there’s a reason. I can’t help but smile knowing such an awesome God is looking out for me and my daughter.

Never love a wild thing.... He was always lugging home wild things. A hawk with a hurt wing. One time it was a full-grown bobcat with a broken leg. But you can't give your heart to a wild thing: the more you do, the stronger they get. Until they're strong enough to run into the woods. Or fly into a tree. Then a taller tree. Then the sky. That's how you'll end up.... If you let yourself love a wild thing. You'll end up looking at the sky.

~Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany's, 1958, spoken by the character Holly Golightly